Traditionally the man is the bread winner of the home, but with the current economic situation, it has become imperative that women leave their traditional role of taking care of the home front to share the in bread winning role of their husbands, most times leaving the care giving role to maids, relatives, television, internet and day care centers.
This trend though very beneficial to the family in terms of the finance, leaves the moral, psychological and educational needs of the children in the hands of people who themselves are busy with their own problems and can not be readily available to help our kids through theirs.
At the end of the day we are left with children with weak foundations, and weak morals. Some of them are practically left to care for themselves at very tender ages. Once back from school, they are seen roaming around the streets, until night fall.
This situation can only lead to abuse. Everyday, we hear and read how our girls are raped almost on a daily bases, even children as young as 2 are not spared. There is absolutely no excuse for rape, not rape of an adult, much less that of a child.
The truth of the matter is, where were we when it was happening? Sometimes it goes on for days, weeks, months without us noticing, simply because by the time we get home they are asleep and we are too busy in the mornings preparing for another day to take notice.
Even our boys are not left out of this abuse, they become victims of evil minded people whose only aim is to rob us of our future generation.
I am not saying that women should not work, far from it, because a good number of women are doing very well, they need to share the secret of their success with others.
The kids are not only subjected to physical abuse, they also most times, have to deal with moral, psychological and emotional abuse and blackmail. The list goes on.
There are no problems without solutions, the first step to solving any problem is accepting that you have a problem. I say this because many of us will refuse that we have a problem that needs to be solved seeing any such suggestion as criticism and any one bold enough to say it as a meddler and an enemy.
- No matter how tired you are after work spend some time with them, talk to them, observe their responses and reactions.
- Find out what they did while you were not at home and who with. Do this in a most friendly manner.
- Tell them about your day, that will encourage them to talk about theirs.
- Whatever you do make sure they don't have to eat outside, because there is no food at home. Hunger will make anyone vulnerable. To some, the problem is not the lack of food but the time to prepare the food.
- Assign them tasks that will keep them busy around the house while you are away.
- Weekends should be family time, try as much as possible to stay with your family. If you need to go out it should not be another all day affair.
- Know their friends and the parents of their friends.
- It is very important that you LISTEN to them always. Even a 1-year-old child, who cant talk, has something to say , if you pay enough attention to him you will understand him.
Of course the list is not exhaustive, but it could be a starting point. Of what use is all your sacrifice if you end up with kids that will add to your sorrow in future. Be wise, act NOW!!!
Remember a stich in time saves nine!
Happy parenting!!
OROVAN
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