Friday, 6 February 2015

10 Reasons You Should Never Date A Man With A Big Pe**s

Gbola, anaconda, ruggedman, whatever name you want to give it, if it's too big it might not be too good. Forget all those things ladies like to say about liking it big, meet them one one and you will be wiser for it, for some endurance is the word.....

So as man if you are under the impression that, when it comes to your penis, bigger is better.

This is a lie spread by porn, probably because it’s just easier to see bigger ones on screen.

But in actual fact, as most ladies know, dating someone with an anaconda truly worthy of the name is actually a hindrance.

Here’s why.

1. Normal condoms don’t fit

Which you’d think might make everyone smug.

In fact, it results in sex being delayed for at least a week while you try to track down a specialist supplier who, naturally, charges triple the price for XXLs.

2. Vaginas don’t fit

Or rather, it doesn’t fit any vaginas.

It’s a bit like trying to squeeze Optimus Prime into a aeroplane loo.

Any kind of action is going to require serious forward-planning and very careful maneuvers if you want to avoid serious damage to one or both parties.

3. Cystitis

Because nothing says romance like bruising your girlfriend’s urethra so badly she ends up pissing fire.

4. Anal

5. A very real risk of suffocation

In porn the whole ‘woman almost choking on man meat’ is probably quite hot.

In real life no woman wants to go out like that.

6. Vanilla sex

With a small or average-sized member you can both rut away to your little hearts’ content with you on top, them on top, sitting down, from behind, from the side and so in, in an almost unending series of sexy f*** combinations.

Larger lads have to content themselves with one ole faithful – whichever one doesn’t make their lady howl in agony.

7. Bleeding

Because, for some men, the term pork sword is unfortunately accurate.

8. Careful, measured sex

Ok, so there’s no downside to the fact several hours of foreplay becomes a necessity rather than a nicety.

But you’ll never have fast, passionate, ‘animal’ sex without a lot of pain afterwards.

9. You will always need lube

Always. Fancy a quickie in the back of your fiesta in the station car park?

Yeah. I hope you carry around lube in your handbag.

10. They’re messy to look at

The whole of classical Greek sculpture shuns your out-of-proportion yogurt slinger.


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